Corks & Seeds

Ever plant a seed and a day later want to dig it up to see if it’s growing yet? Crazy right?

The moment I started to enjoy you more than I was ready to was the moment I got lost in my head. I turned everything sexual, trying desperately to control the uncontrollable and tried to manipulate or even cheapen the experience. I wasn’t’ ready for what happened. I wasn’t ready to start thinking of you at odd moments or consider what this could be. I felt out of control. As if the situation would consume me. All I could think of was I want more. More kisses more touch more. This insatiable feeling was taken over my every thought. Leaving me unable to work, sleep or do daily activities. This unjustified feeling of uncontrollable want was leaving me embarrassed and honestly unable to understand how I could deserve to be happy, leaving me exposed and vulnerable in everyway possible. Something just didn’t make sense.

I thought I was ready, I really did. I wasn’t ready to find out you had kissed one of my closest friends.
Or feel intimidated in the kitchen with you.
It was more feeling than I could deal with.

When in doubt do nothing. Take it slow and steady.
Develop in time. Consider the situation. All great little nuggets of advice for normal, non-jaded people like me.

I let my head overpower my heart. It felt so exciting getting ready to see you. Driving up to you. Seeing you smile in such a kid like way. Such ease and unawareness of my overthinking crazy thoughts.

Even as I write this I judge myself and blame it all on me. I know better. I gave you all the power and never once thought how you felt. Too scared to ask what you wanted. Are you ready for this? Do you even want this?

Is it too late to run in the opposite direction? I don’t know how to do this?
I fucked this up. The moment I started to like you was moment I sexualized everything and lite things on fire so to speak. You didn’t have a chance. I wanted to prove I wasn’t worthy of such passionate kisses or easy living. I’m used to having the upper hand. Being in control was more important than being happy and enjoying myself. The idea of you finding out I wasn’t perfect was too much pain for me to handle.

I’m not sure you can even understand any of this right now.
How keeping my distance is probably the best thing I can do for both of us right now. And somehow I think you know. You get things in a way that leaves me scared to get too close.

Could we just blame it all on the cork? That unsinkable bottle stopper, that started it all…
Moments that take your breath away, and put a smile on your face. Is it too late to tap out and regroup? Can I get my ducks in row and my head straight once again or even for the first time.
I keep worrying about what others will think. How timing is everything.

This was out of character for me.

All I know is I’m scared and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to control myself. Making things sexual so soon was not my true intention. It was just a desperate cry to avoid feeling so much so fast. I need a time out.

Knowing makes no difference. As well trained and aware as I am, I know I’m not without fault and reason.
I’m notorious at destruction. At adding fire to the flame and letting it burn motherfucker burn.
Talk into his listening. You must think I’m crazy. I don’t know you. And I truly encouraged things to get way too sexual so fast. I never should of sent that picture. It was the moment I started to like you and have feelings that felt out of control. Never once did I ask you what you wanted. Learning to just be with my feelings. Destructive and confusing, that’s all I know right now.

Moving On

image2-2Always remember you are never alone. You will always have support and there is always help if you allow it. It may not be the help you want but the art to happiness is accepting and appreciating what is. Learning to want what you have is one of the most powerful things you can do in life. 

As my oldest son settles into his first apt today, I am reminded of some of the many adventures in life that cause me to be nervous, frustrated and scared. Today I am happy to say I welcome those feelings for those are the moments I have grown the most and developed myself. 

In those movements, I have learned to take a deep breath and see the power, love and courage available.

I’ve made my share of mistakes and continue to taste the bitterness of failure but I will never regret my choices, because they are the steps to victory. 

I am a proud mother of two amazing men that have caused me to laugh, cry and learn that now is a moment like no other and unless you appreciate what is you will never know the Freedom of Love.

Dhariya- Courage

IMG_6073Dhariya- Courage

What’s the fun in doing anything alone?
Strength in numbers. It takes a village to raise a child.

How often do we isolate ourselves from humanity thinking that we are stronger, more powerful and make a greater impact solo? The question is…does impact and movement happen without a backing…a band of people who support, elevate and believe in your cause?

I have had recent thoughts about this…as Elisa brought to my attention that so far in my career and education, my considerations and actions are those that only benefit me directly.

What a mind-blowing revelation… as all this time I thought the title M.D. encompassed “at the service of others” …that it was a given! Of course, I’m for the people…

What I didn’t understand that without the intention of empowering others and being up to something outside of myself…there was no sense of ‘taking a stand for another’, resulting in no movement.

I seriously contemplated this all afternoon…. Was this the missing link to feeling 1000% connected to my MISSION on Earth? That passionate drive that has you wake up in the morning gleaming with purpose and a confident ‘knowning-ness’.

I finally tapped into what made my heart sing…. was the empowerment of others that they can do and be anything… as vague as that may sound…I realized that M.D. comes with a platform to make that stand… starting in the highest level physical and mental health…and being an example of going after the very dreams and desires that terrify me.

Those dreams are being a medical doctor, taking a stand for healthy living for both the patient and doctor communities, creating a movement of accessible healthcare, on a global scale, being a very present, and loving mother and wife, and to take on the unbeaten path with confidence, courage and all the love, support and participation of all my communities combined.

In health and with Love,
Geny Augustine Chasse M.D.



The World of Boys and Girls


As I continue to uncover the world I play in, I recently discovered my lack of true male friendships.

Last night I was sharing pizza with a male friend I’ve had for over 6 years, sure that seems like a lot of years, but truth be told we don’t really know one another. Sure we can hang out and make jokes, but I realized how much I hold back on the people, (especially the men) I call my friends. Perhaps this distance game was started when I was told, “boys hurt girls” by my lovable overprotective Mom. Or maybe this distance started when my favorite and only big brother left for college. I unconsciously vowed never to be that vulnerable again. I remember crying in the backseat as we dropped him off at the airport and how I hid my emotions so he wouldn’t know how much he meant to me. This sometimes little 12 year-old girl decided relationships always end and it’s not worth sticking it out, so I quit every time, or in most cases avoid getting close to men. I am especially present to this today as my youngest son graduates high school tonight. I can see how every male relationship I have is an example of holding back love in some way, even with my two sons at times.

This month has been extremely hard for me. The growing pains are out of control! And this invisible distance I create has created superficial relationships that stop me from truly getting to know the wonderful men I have around me. I’m not proud of this and I can now see my actions are done out of fear…… fear of being judged, fear of being seen, fear of looking foolish, and fear of not being liked by others. I see now that I am missing out on true authentic caring boy and girl friendships. You know the kind of relationships that are based on a commitment to honesty, love and success for one another.

I take this moment to thank all the wonderful examples of men I can look up to in my life today. I appreciate you all for being there and never giving up on me.

Now go do something amazing for someone else today…
Love others for who they are, wherever they are. And always create more closeness and less distance. The world is your playground if you let it be.
Stay Playful.

I love my brother, Jon.


Nervousness Instead of Stress


Stepping onto the track your feet slide into the starting blocks, you bend over to place your hands on either side of the white line. Your track number is flapping in the wind brushing your chin, flap, flap, flap. As you settle in your heart beat increases going from a flutter to a consistent and strong beat. Thump, Thump, THUMP. Your eyes sharpen and you can see the finish line, every cell in your body tenses and relaxes recoiling like a spring ready to be launched. Silence settles in and you wait for the…..BANG. You take flight pushing with all your might driving your legs into the starting blocks, blasting off down the track. In a flash you cross the finish line…FIRST!

These moments or events can occur in anyones life and maybe they have occurred in yours. These BANG moments can be reflected on in two very different ways. Let me explain, when I was a high school athlete competing to be on the Varsity rotation for basketball I use to challenge myself to play better, work harder, try more. I worked hard! Put in extra hours in the gym, the weight room, or any other place that I thought was going to give me the edge. This effort got me dismal results. I was so focused on the pre-work that in the moment I was nervous or worse stressed! What I was neglecting was my bodies emotional intelligence to perform.

Our bodies respond to emotions via little chemical messengers called dopamine, serotonin, and epinephrine. When we feel a particular emotion like joy, happiness, or fulfillment our blood floods with dopamine. A similar effect occurs with excitement. Dopamine is the master hormone of feeling excited.

After the race you just WON you feel elated, jumping up and down, pointing your fingers at family and friends in the crowd, you are in frenzy and everyone is feeding off your ENERGY. The rush intensifies as you step on to the podium and accept your reward. Following a quick ceremony you are asked a few basic questions by a reporter following the event. One question sticks out in your mind, “Did you feel nervous?” You quickly answer “NO!” because you have just won, put in hundred of hours of effort and it all paid off with a victory. Nervous could be farther from the truth. You are excited! Nervousness doesn’t exist in the moment of action, because it would prevent your mind and body from letting go. Nervousness is a protection mechanism by the body to prevent you from taking risks that may end your life. Well let me tell you, there are not a lot of things or people that are out to talk you life away, so nervousness doesn’t have a very product place in society anymore. In order to be in the moment of action we must learn to access excitement in spite of nervousness or lets call it as we see it, FEAR.

While you might never experience a huge athletic victory in your life, we all have opportunities to have victories which result in a FEELING. This feeling is a response of our body to produce a hormone that results in another feeling. We are feeling making machines! So the question is if nervousness and excitement both come from very similar places, how do we create more excitement in our lives? The answer is choose different. What do I mean by that? I mean you need to be aware in the moments before a big event in your life, or something that triggers and old response, be gentile with yourself and choose to be excited and have your body recognize this is not nervousness, but this is excitement for something new, something great, something big that is about to happen in your life. Simon Sinek’s analogy to nerves and athletics has inspired me to write this article and become more away of my FEELINGS and how I react. He has decide to choose excitement as his FEELING and remind himself that nervousness only results in in-action in his life. Please use the link below to watch this short clip on Simon’s viewpoint on nervousness vs. excitement.

Simon Sinek on Training Your Mind to Perform Under Pressure

Contributing writer:
Dr. Cory Ostroot
The American Center of Natural Medicine
15170 N Hayden Suite 6B
Scottsdale AZ 85260
Phone: 480-779-7755
Fax: 480-447-4530

Diary of a X- Fat Nerd, Part 1


As I enter my 8th day of my challenge of will power, staring at candy apples without drooling and drinking water and doing cardio till I’m blue in the face…I stand tall because I chose this! I consciously chose this life-of setting the stakes high, and putting my derriere on the line…literally in this case.

This 6 week ‘shred down’ has got me thinking bigger than how great I’ll look in a bikini. It was awakened a consciousness of I am what I eat. Its wildly simple, but mind-blowing…and can be interpreted in any way. Conscious, clean eating is my current game, and is giving me a true sense of vitality and accomplishment.

Chef Jennifer Johnson with Witnessing Nature in Food plays the game of organic, eco-conscious eating. Promoting sustainability, and a mindfulness of the Earth, while licking your fingers and plate clean because her food is so damn tasty! This level of consciousness holds roots of respect and gratitude to our mother Earth, as we can’t forget that she is the ultimate provider.

In Health,
Geny Augustine Chasse M.D.

Witnessing Nature in Everything: Feeding Knowledge and Serving Compassion



Who doesn’t love a delicious home-cooked meal, made with high quality, organic ingredients and lots of loving care?

Chef Jennifer Johnson employs a holistic food philosophy towards her catering business and personal chef service, Witnessing Nature in Everything. Chef Johnson’s passion is geared towards healthy, conscious eating that encompasses a lifestyle of wellness and vitality.

Internationally trained and locally sourced, Jennifer utilizes her worldly knowledge to ground Witnessing Nature in Everything in sustainable practices that support Arizona businesses and nurtures the conscientious consumer. She advocates for wholesome meals that nourish and restore, without the excessive amounts of sugar, salt, and fats that the American diet is typically known for.

Her cooking style, American Simple Healthy Cooking, is largely influenced by French and Italian cuisines. Flavorful and fresh, her dishes become not just a meal, but a gastronomic journey from the plate to your palate!

Jennifer is more than just a dedicated chef, her background in engineering brings deep insight and knowledge to her eco-friendly enterprise. Her commitment to her craft is exemplified by her willingness to share her environmental ethos to the collective community with cooking classes and catered events.

If you have an event and need a creative culinary artist, look no further than Chef Jennifer Johnson for all your nutritional needs! You can also subscribe to her weekly meal plan programs and meal box delivery service to save time and savor the flavor of Witnessing Nature! And remember, “it’s what’s in the food that matters! Eat Organic!!!”

For more information on how to connect with Chef Jennifer, check out her website, and Facebook page Witnessing Nature in Everything.

Appreciate, Celebrate and Eat! With Witnessing Nature in Everything on May 28th

Right at Your Fingertips


Health and wellbeing has taken our world by storm, having us enrolled in gyms, meditation classes, yoga, and buying countless numbers of books and informational videos. We are simply just curious…wanting to uncover the happenings behind the scenes; what makes our very well- oiled machine, called the ‘human body,’ tick!

Proactivity is the name of the game, and having a trusted and knowledgeable healthcare practitioner by your side is part if the recipe for success. What stops one from seeking out such guidance? Perhaps is inaccessibility to your doctor or simply the quality time, attention and care you desire but often don’t receive.

Dr. Susan Wilder with Lifescape Premier has tapped into a new way of delivering quality care, through Concierge Medicine. Traditionally the term ‘concierge’ would be encountered in hotels, and the industry of Travel &Tourism. In the medical context, concierge entails patients having access to their doctor at any time for any concerns that may arise. This is made possible through having intimate practices, such as Lifescape Premier has created. Walking into their offices, you encounter soft colored walls, beautiful relaxation music and the kindest front desk staff. Dr. Wilder then promptly greets you with a smile and her enthusiastic energy. You get the sense that your care is in great, competent and trustworthy hands. If this is new age medicine, I’m all for it!

In Health,
Geny Augustine Chasse M.D.

Puppy Pawsitive

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Hello World. My name is Ziggy but my parents call me all kinds of things: Boo Boo Butt, Pretty Girl, Sweetheart, Angel Face, Puppy, etc. I’m an adopted three-year- old that absolutely loves living with my family in Phoenix Arizona.

You may have guessed from the pictures that I am a very happy dog. One time, I got SOOOOO happy that I ended up spraining my own tail! It happened the last time my parents took me toPapago Park to play in the local lake. I ran up, down, and all around, chasing the ducks and splashing in the cool water. Oh, it was an absolute blast! We even went to the park to play with the dogs in my neighborhood before I got home for my bath. Talk about best day ever, I couldn’t wait to go to bed and dream all about it!

I woke up the next morning in a world of pain. My tail was throbbing and I couldn’t help but sit in my bed and whimper the pain away until my parents woke up. My mom noticed my limp tail on our morning walk and ended up taking me to the hospital to get it checked out. The doctor recommended two options: 1. cut my tail off and send me home with pain pills, or 2. cold laser therapy sessions and some medicines that would make my tail feel better. Luckily for me, my parents agreed to the laser treatment and in just a couple of days, my wagger was starting to get its swagger back!

Before that happened, I use to throw my tail all over the place, with no real regard for how fragile my backside really was! Although I still play hard and show my enthusiasm with a vigorous wag, I am way more considerate when it comes to my wagger’s wellbeing. I could have been sitting here with a nub if it hadn’t been for the cool laser that saved the life of my tail! Who knows what

Thanks for reading my tail tale, check here next week for another installment of Puppy

Lots of Love,
Ziggy Miller

Playing the Game and Finding Home

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Sheela Giraudo is not your average real estate agent. When you represent VIP clients like professional athletes, celebrities, and the business elite, you commit to deliver VIP service and VIP results.

Whether you’re selling your house or buying a new home, it’s often a rollercoaster experience of excitement, frustration, confusion, and ultimately, commitment. Coupled with the career obligations of a professional athlete, bouncing all over the country for different events at any given moment, where do you find the time (and energy) to invest in your life’s transition?

Look no further than Sheela Giraudo. Going “above and beyond” the extra mile for her VIP clients, Sheela strives to deliver consistent action and assurance. Her diverse experience in luxury property, real estate investment and professional relocation offers clients exclusive insight into the realm of real estate management.

Warm, trustworthy, and reliable, Sheela ensures her clients and their family’s needs are met through a personable touch that can only be accomplished through honest listening and genuine engagement. What she delivers to her clients is not just a new home, but a new life.

For more information on how you can ensure a smooth transition to or from the Valley of the Sun, go Here